Back in 2009, when I studied Organizational & Relationship System Coaching (ORSC), I came across the expression The roles belong to the system. It took me some time to understand its meaning, then I often noticed in my work how true and useful this concept is.
A recent experience triggered me to share this concept with you:
In a recent Advisory Committee (IAAC) meeting of Introverts Academy, I talked about strategy updates and upcoming projects. Although one of the IAAC members was unavailable to join us, another one asked about deadlines toward the end. “That’s usually Anne’s question!” I replied smiling, noticing how that role (related to accountability) shifted naturally from the missing member… to a present one! It was Emanuel who voiced the concern about the deadlines this time.
Why is it important to notice this dynamic in a system?
An Advisory Committee is a system, a relationship system. And so is a team, a family, a partnership… any two or more people who have something in common. Think of what we know as Beatles, for example: it’s a relationship system, much more than four individuals in a room. Through the actions we take in a relationship system, we can carry the system forward toward the common goal, keep it stuck or lose its momentum.
People often ignore to dissociate a person from the role it occupies in a specific system. And when the person is missing or performing poorly, the rest of the team usually mentions the person’s name. Well, it’s not the specific human being who is actually at stake. It’s how well that person “occupies” that role, which has certain actions attached to it (which are required to help the whole system move forward).
In the IAAC meetings, Anne usually took over the (system) role related to accountability. However, in her absence, the role was still present in the system… and manifested its concern (about the deadlines) through another IAAC member who was present.
By understanding the concept The roles belong to the system (not to people), we’ll be less inclined to blame people… and focus more on how the tasks required by a role can be performed (by the same person or another) to get things done. We are all wonderful people at core, although sometimes we might not perform our role tasks well in a system – and that can be improved or work redistributed. Since the relationship systems are naturally creative and resourceful, the system will find a way to “speak to us” (system “members”) about what’s needed in the moment and even how to find solutions.
The question is: are we open to notice and listen?
Want another example? If you feel stuck in a job with a boss you don’t agree with: instead of blaming the person who’s in the boss’s role, find ways to bring up your perspective (in a 1-on-1 meeting) about which of the boss’s (role) actions are helping the team move forward, which are not, and why. The boss might not be aware of these aspects, so your opinion might help the person understand how to perform better in this role. If you lack courage to speak up in front of the boss, you can ask for advice from someone in HR (mentioning facts and implications, not how bad is your boss)… or look for another job (which is taking on a role in another system) or… We always have options!
We’ll talk more about relationship systems in our courses and videos related to “Relationship With Others” area of the Introverts Academy’s curriculum.
~ Gabriela Casineanu, MSc, MBA, ORSC
Founder Introverts Academy