Extrovert’s Letter to Introvert Friend: Tips for Better Communication

After our first attempt to test ChatGPT’s knowledge about introversion (see Poem for Introverts by ChatGPT), we became curious to try it further.
So we asked it to write two letters this time:

• One as an extroverted person who writes to an introvert (using this prompt)
• The other as an introvert writing to an extrovert.

You’ll find below the first letter generated by Chat GPT, followed by our perspective.
The second letter is here.

Letter from an extrovert to an introvert

Dear Introvert,

I hope this letter finds you well. I’d like to take a moment to express my thoughts and feelings about our interactions as an extrovert.

I genuinely value our friendship. And I believe that understanding each other’s communication preferences will help us foster a stronger connection.

First, I want you to know how much I appreciate your presence in my life.
Your calm and thoughtful demeanour brings a sense of balance and introspection that I admire.
When we interact, I am constantly fascinated by your deep thinking and insightful perspectives.

Your ability to listen attentively and offer meaningful contributions to our conversations is truly special.
However, I must admit that sometimes I feel uncertain about how you perceive my extroverted nature.

I worry that my enthusiasm and outgoing personality might overwhelm or exhaust you. It’s essential for me to understand how I can adapt my communication style to make our interactions more comfortable and enjoyable for you.

To make our communication more effective and mutually fulfilling, I would like to offer a few suggestions:

1. Give me gentle feedback
As an extrovert, I sometimes tend to dominate conversations without realizing it. If I unintentionally interrupt or overpower the conversation, please let me know kindly. Your feedback is invaluable in helping me create a space where both our voices can be heard.

2. Embrace one-on-one settings
While I thrive in group settings, I understand that they can be overwhelming for you. Let’s make an effort to engage in more one-on-one activities that allow for deeper connections and meaningful conversations. These settings provide an opportunity for you to express yourself without feeling overshadowed.

3. Allow me space for expression
Understand that my enthusiasm and energy stem from a genuine excitement about our interactions. Sometimes, I may talk more and share my thoughts and experiences readily. Please know that it doesn’t mean I expect the same level of sharing from you. Your thoughtful input is highly valued, and I respect your need time for reflection.

4. Create a balance
Let’s find a middle ground that suits both of our communication preferences. We can explore a variety of social activities that offer a mix of quiet moments and engaging conversations. By alternating between introspective and more social settings, we can strike a balance that ensures our interactions are fulfilling for both of us.

5. Appreciate our differences
Our contrasting communication styles bring richness to our friendship. While it may take effort to navigate these differences, I believe that understanding and accepting each other’s preferences will strengthen our bond. Let’s celebrate our unique qualities and learn from one another.

I genuinely value our friendship, and I hope these suggestions will contribute to a more harmonious and fulfilling connection.

Together, we can create an environment where both our introverted and extroverted traits are appreciated and respected.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.
I look forward to deepening our friendship and continuing to learn from one another.

Warm regards,
[Extrovert’s name]

Introverts Academy’s perspective about this letter

• Without specifying the context in our prompt, Chat GPT wrote the letter as if the extrovert and introvert were already friends. Which might not be always the case.
  Our mistake! We should’ve given more details in the prompt. Lesson learned. 🙂
• Overall, the letter shows good intentions, and the five suggestions are relevant for such a friendship. There is usually enough time for the two to get familiar with each other’s communication style and personality differences. And become comfortable sharing their insecurities and requests openly.
• The suggestions portray also an extrovert who understands introversion well, and is willing to improve their communication with support from both sides.
  Outside of such friendships, though, things might be different.
  There are extroverts who don’t know as much about introversion; are not familiar with their contrasting communication styles and behaviour; or believe they’re right to act that way and the others (the introverts) need to put some effort into becoming like them.
  Do they know that around half of the population are introverts? They’re not as talkative as them, but have great insights and strengths that should not be ignored or marginalized.
• In the workplace, for example, how many extroverts you know are open to finding mutually beneficial ways to communicate?
  The organizational culture and workplace environment can have an influence as well; some of them enforce behaviours and situations that don’t accommodate the complementary communication styles of introverts and extroverts.
• While the letter sheds a light on aspects that are not usually acknowledged, here and there we noticed phrases that seem to miss the point. Like:
  • “Give me gentle feedback” — Introverts are usually kind people. If both are open to feedback, they could define a “protocol” (when, how to recognize that feedback is given) to avoid becoming defensive when it occurs.
  • “These settings provide an opportunity for you to express yourself without feeling overshadowed.” — It’s true that one-on-one settings make introverts more comfortable to participate. And they already know that. However, even in such settings, introverts can feel overshadowed because of extrovert’s energetic communication style. Especially if the extroverts are not patient enough, not allowing introverts sufficient time to express their thoughts.
  • “Allow me space for expression.” — This seems a bit off. Extroverts usually express themselves without asking others’ permission. Introverts are more reserved and observant; when they want to say something, they have a hard time to cut off the exuberant extroverts. And without doing so, there will be a big imbalance in the conversation. We appreciate the extrovert’s self-awareness and sincerity, though. 

Now your turn!

• What’s your reaction to this letter?
• If you’re an introvert, is this letter something you would expect from the extroverts you interact with?
• If you’re an extrovert, were you aware of all the aspects mentioned above? Are you open to write a letter like this to an introvert you know?

If you found this article useful, please share it with others.

Gabriela Casineanu
Systems & MBTI^® Certified Coach
Founder, Introverts Academy

Helpful links related to what we’ve talked about in this post:
• 30 Introvert Strengths (list)
• MBTI® assessment and interpretation session (service)
• Navigating the Relationship Landscape With Ease (book)
• Networking… The Introvert Way! (online course)

*The prompt we used with Chat GPT to generate the above letter:
You’re an extrovert. Write a short letter to an introvert expressing how you feel when that person interacts with you and what would you recommend to make the communication more effective.