Some people like the Holiday Season, others don’t. Either way, our emotions might get amplified during this time of the year.
The following tips are for the introverts who feel more lonely during this time of the year, or dread the additional interactions and events this season might bring.
A) Tips for introverts who feel more lonely during the Holiday Season
1. Make a list of things you like to do.
Pick one and get curious about what else you can discover about it.
I like nature photography. So my camera ‘pushes’ me to go out more during this time. It takes me to both indoor and outdoor places where I can enjoy the Holiday decorations (they’re on my list too). Also, to walk more and breathe the crisp winter fresh air (also on my list).
Snowing? That’s a bonus! I love the playful snowflakes and the white winter.
I also enjoy knitting while listening to Alexa smart speaker reading me a Kindle book … or watching Christmas-themed movies (there are plenty movies to choose from if you have an Amazon Prime subscription).
2. Loneliness feels like you’re all alone, and nobody cares or understands you.
Let’s put things in perspective: with 8 billion people out there, it’s hard to believe that’s true!
It’s been a while since I discovered that happiness comes from within, and never felt lonely since. Before that, when loneliness became unbearable, I discovered that switching ‘gears’ helps. Instead of dwelling on how lonely I felt, I reached out to others via the Internet (even to strangers)—rather than waiting for others to reach out or acknowledge me.
This attitude always led to a positive mood change!
Saying ‘Hello’ … ‘Happy Holidays’ … ‘Happy Birthday’ … ‘Thank you for’ … sharing how I felt in the moment … or asking a question had a positive boomerang effect on me (as long as my words were genuine and I had no expectations). Putting myself in the position of ‘giver’ (even if that’s just writing a few words) shifted my mood, and any response I’ve got was a proof that I’m not actually alone in this world. That was all I needed to reverse the downward spiral of feeling lonely.
Have you tried reaching out to others when you feel lonely? Make it an experiment with no expectations, and see what happens.
3. Loneliness might also come from being disconnected from who we really are.
If we forced ourselves (consciously or unconsciously) for many years to do things that others said we should do, or to please them, there’s no “me” and integrity in what we’re doing.
That lack of connection with whom you really are, what you like, and what you want … is ‘feeding’ this loneliness feeling!
While the day-to-day tasks are great at distracting us from this loneliness, during the Holiday Season—with the extra time at our hands, and the daily routine disturbed—we can no longer push it in a corner because “I have to do …”
That’s why, during this time of the year, with all the invites to re/connect with others … there’s a deeper connection we crave: to reconnect with ourselves.
What can you do to give yourself this gift?
Download this list of 30 introvert strengths list to better understand yourself if you need to. It might spark some ideas on how to put them to work during this time of the year.
4. Imagine that one of these gifts is for you. What would you like it to be?
How can you make it happen or work toward getting this gift for yourself?
When I did this exercise in 2022, I ended up registering for the MBTI® (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator®) certification program (which was on my bucket list for some time). I didn’t have all the money to pay the certification fee. But once I set my mind on it, with a few phone calls and more brainstorming, I found ways to make it happen. I never thought about making those calls before.
So I made this exercise a new tradition for this time of the year. I already know what is my gift for myself this year.
Do you?
Making a gift to yourself will make you feel less lonely since someone thought of giving you a gift!
Even a small gift that you really like could help. It’ll shift your focus from loneliness to being grateful for the gift you received.
B) If you usually dread the additional interactions and events this season might bring
Even though you enjoy the time spent there, it might not take long for the interactions to make you tired and wanting to leave.
Here are some ideas to help you better experience all these end-of-year celebrations and your reunions with family or friends:
1. Prepare yourself mentally, so you’re ready when they occur.
How can you answer invitations to events that you don’t want to attend?
Your opinion counts as well. And communicating it is called setting boundaries—which is important! Otherwise you let others guess what you want based on their own opinions (and they might not get it right).
You probably have a good reason for rejecting such invitations. So put aside the guilt that you’ll disappoint others, that you let them down by not going.
Not attending an event or get together has less to do with how much you love, like, or care about those people … and more to do with the event itself.
2. If you plan to go, what part of that event do you actually like?
Think about how you can get more of that. Also, about how much time you want to spend there. And what could be your “exit” strategy.
Be mentally ready for this before you even get there. It will give you something to pay more attention to during the event, so you don’t get overwhelmed with all the other aspects. Such events are overwhelming for introverts and drain their energy faster.
3. Give yourself enough time before and after the event.
Prepare yourself before (physically, mentally, rest) and schedule time to recharge after.
This way, the draining effect of such events won’t cumulate in time. Having a low energy level can make you feel worse and have more negative thoughts than usual.
There’s a new year starting soon. You need energy for it as well!
4. If gift-giving is part of the event you’ll attend
My suggestion: go for gifts that are meaningful, practical, or provide an enjoyable experience.
Meaningful experiences and gifts made with the receiver in mind touch the person’s soul, no matter the price tag associated.
With more people caring about minimalism and sustainability, such gifts might be better received than those ending up in a corner (never used, and with an additional guilt attached if given away after a while).
Also, books and other gifts that bring new insights could be more valuable to people than insensitive gift cards.
if you run out of ideas, check out on Amazon my books* and anthologies I’ve contributed to.
Back to you
• Which of the above tips resonate more with you?
• Do you have other suggestions for people who feel lonely or dread social interactions during the Holiday Season?
I wish you an enjoyable one!
Gabriela Casineanu
Founder, Introverts Academy
* If you’re not in Canada, click on books and replace “.ca” in the Amazon URL with the extension corresponding to the Amazon website you have access to.
